The Grappling Greek's Guesses

Okay, everybody. As promised I'm back with my predictions for One Night Stand. The card is absolutely loaded, so let's get right into things.

Melina v. Beth Phoenix (I Quit Match)

This little feud started when Melina accidentally hit Phoenix in a recent match against Mickie James. The feud continued at the last PPV when Melina did the job to Mickie, leaving The Glamazon on the outside looking in.

Prediction: While I really like the push that Melina has been getting and her turn to the babyface side of things, I simply can't see how she would go over the Glamazon in this match. They've built up Phoenix for months. Tearing her down now just doesn't make sense.

Winner : Beth Phoenix


Big Show v. John Morrison v. Tommy Dreamer v. Chavo Guerrero v. CM Punk (Singapore Cane Match)

I'll be the first to admit I'm not a regular watching of ECW, however I do know one thing. Tommy Dreamer will not win this match. Now, having said that, who will? Chavo? He doesn't need it...he's already getting the rub from the Familla and has other tacos to toast. John Morrison? Well, he pinned Punk cleanly on Tuesday night, which means he's not winning Sunday. That leaves Big Show and CM. My hope is that CM gets the duke. He was really making headway after winning the Money in the Bank match at Wrestlemania, but his push has been stalled out lately. He's the one I hope wins because he's a young star who has the potential to carry the company someday, in my opinion. However, I'm not sure the WWE has the foresight to have him go over Big Show, who really doesn't need this match. Winning here will do nothing for his career.

Prediction: CM Punk, but I'm nervous Big Show will actually win.


Jeff Hardy v. Umaga (falls count anywhere match)

Of all the matches on the card, this is the one that I feel is the toughest to call. Both wrestlers have jobbed to each other in the past. Hardy was on a real roll until his substance abuse suspension slowed him down. Umaga continues to impress in-ring and remains a marketable monster, capable of anything. Will the Fed punish Jeff for his out-of-ring transgressions, or do they want to fast-track him back toward the top of the card. My guess is the latter.

Prediction: Jeff Hardy


Shawn Michaels v. Batista (Stretcher Match)

This may be one of the better stories the WWE has told in a long time. It all started with Batista resenting Michaels for being the one who retired Ric Flair. Bats didn't believe Michaels claims that he didn't want to retire Flair, he was simply doing his job. He said Michaels ego is so big that he relished in being the one who forced the Nature Boy to hang up his boots. So at their PPV match, the two fought it out. Bats looked to be in control of things until Michaels blew out his knee. Bats laid off because he was genuinely concerned for Michaels. Then out of nowhere, HBK connected with a booming superkick for the 3 count. That left special guest referee Chris Jericho puzzled. He accused Michaels of faking the injury. Michaels denied it for weeks, until once again scrambling Jericho's brain with another round of Sweet Chin Music. Meanwhile, Bats vowed to injure HBK if his knee injury turned out to be a hoax, which it did. As for Jericho, his inability to beat HBK has caused him to nearly lose it. He threatened a full heel turn attack on Raw Monday night by going after HBK with a steel chair. But before doing the deed, he reconsidered at the last minute. How will Jericho affect this match on Sunday?

My guess is that Batista lays out HBK, with some help from Jericho. Batista walks away from the match saying he didn't ask for the help, but what happened, happened. It's just business. That's good enough to keep him on the fans side. As for Jericho, he goes full blown heel, asking how true wrestling fans can root for a faker like Michaels. HBK takes a few weeks off because of serious injuries he suffered during the match (maybe even a knee injury?) and then returns stronger than ever, in full babyface mode.

Prediction: Batista


John Cena v. John Bradshaw Layfield (First Blood Match)

The history between these two is well-documented. JBL has been chasing the gold since leaving his color commentary post on Smackdown! He needs to get through Cena to get to his ultimate goal, the WWE world championship. Cena also wants his belt back, and JBL stands in the way.

This type of match favors JBL. He's a much better brawler than wrestler, and that will certainly help him here. Also, my guess is that JBL will be next one to challenge HHH for the gold, so that means he goes over Cena here.

Prediction: JBL


Edge v. Undertaker (Tables, Ladders, and Chairs Match)

Talk about feuds that have long legs...this one has been going on for months on end. Briefly, Edge lost his title to the Undertaker at Wrestlemania, and has been doing everything in his power to get it back. That includes literally getting into bed with Smackdown! general manager Vicki Guerrero. Vicki and her Familla have done everything they can to screw with the Undertaker, including stripping him of his belt. They also staged an attack on Smackdown! that left the Undertaker in a casket and Edge standing triumphant on a ladder. That is until the lights went out, and Undertaker mysteriously emerged from the casket to throw Edge off the ladder and destroy the rest of The Familla. Can I digress for a moment? I appreciate the Undertaker and everything he's done in his 18 years in the WWE. But am I supposed to believe he magically escaped a casket after being attacked by six guys? Boy, it's not a lot to ask for Undertaker to do the job to six guys, is it?

Anyway, my guess here is that Edge wins the belt with copious amounts of help from the Familla. Undertaker is due for a vacation, and it is summer after all.

Prediction: Edge


WWE Champion HHH v. Randy Orton (Last Man Standing Match)

And speaking of feuds with long legs, here's another one. This two have been battling for the belt for months. Both are former members of Evolution, now they're bitter enemies. There's nothing really more to say than that.

As for the actual match, it should be long and brutal. But in the end, there's no way HHH loses here. I think the dip in ratings during the Randall era clearly got through to Vince, and he's going to stick with someone he trusts, HHH. Oh, and did I mention that HHH is schtooping Vince's daughter?!?!?

Prediction: HHH


This looks like a fantastic card. How profetic am I? We'll find out Sunday night. I'll be back with a quick ppv recap on Monday. See ya then!

Bribery Will Get You Everywhere

Raw Report for 5/26/08

JR and the King are live from Denver, CO

Opening Segment

We open things up with the mad genius better known as Vince McMahon in what we can now call former GM William Regal's office. He lets us know that he's going to announce something tonight that's earth-shattering and that we will all witness something we've never seen before. He wants to thank his loyal fans and show them some appreciation. Okay Vince...I'm in, but this better be good.

We then cut to the ring for a special verbal confrontation featuring our most high overload and king of kings HHH and one Randall Orton. Boy...One word best describes this segment...endless. The conversation goes something like this:

Randall: Me, better wrestler than you...me be last man standing at Pay Per View...me win me's belt back. You, bad. Fire, bad...etc.

HHH: You're going to lose Randall because I'm the 107 time world champion...I'm also in tight with the boss because I'm having sex with his daughter in real life, and she's expecting our second baby soon. So there's no way you're going to win the belt back. The Age of Orton is a distant memory. I rock.

Really, that's all that was said, and it took fifteen minutes to say it. Talk about killing the crowd right out of the gate.

Segment Rating: 1/2 *


Gillian Hall v. Melina With The Glamazon at Ringside

Pre-match we get a typically hideous performance by Gillian. I'll give her this...she's really good and singing really bad. Her version of "No Chance In Hell" may never leave the deep recesses of my mind. By the way, Melina is in full-blown babyface mode and because of that, she rewards us by making her entrance with her trademark jump split under the bottom ring rope. That's always impressed me...in so many ways. Anyway, the match is rather fast-paced with Gillian getting in a surprising amount of offense on Melina. On commentary, Glam asks Lawler if there's any diva in the history of the WWE who he thinks would make her submit in a match. Lawler seems genuinely surprised by the question and offers up nothing in response. My, how quickly we've forgotten the eighth wonder of the wonder, Chyna. Of course, I'm not talking about Chyna in her present drug-induced state. But back in her heyday, she and the Glam would be a match I might actually pay to see.

Anyway, back to the match and Melina settles things down and they trade a lot of hair-pulling offense until we get to the endgame. Melina rolls through and it appears they botch the ending. Eventually, Melina using a submission move that I should know the name of but I don't. Gillian taps. Melina poses and stares The Glam down. I'd say they've done a decent job setting up their "I quit" match at One Night Stand.

Segment Rating: 1 1/2 *

London and Kendrick v. Holly and Rhodes

Some classic tagteam wrestling here as London and Kendrick isolate Rhodes for a good portion of the match, making frequent tags and a variety of high-flying moves. Wow, the crowd is really into this match and I can't figure out why. After an extended beatdown, Rhodes finally makes the tag to Holly. Match ends when London gets thrown over the top rope, but wait...he skins the cat and pulls himself back over the ropes and right into the waiting arms of Holly who finishes things with the Alabama Slam. Good match, and the crowd actually expressed some interest in the match. Hardcore must be pinching himself.

Match Rating: **

Post-Match Festivities

But wait, there's more! The Million Dollar Man's music comes up and we are indeed joined by Ted Dibiase. He is here to explain why he met with Mr. McMahon last week. He also tells Holly and Rhodes that their title reign will soon end because Vince has signed a new wrestler, and we're all going to meet him right now. It's his son, Ted Dibiase, Jr. I must admit, he looks good. Junior comes out and says he's always dreamed of being a champion, so he's going to find himself a partner and start with the tag belts. He then closes things out by playing off his dad's old catch-phrase. "Everybody has a price, but as for me, well I'm priceless." Okay, I admit that's a little lame, but I love it when the WWE uses its rich history in modern-day story-lines. However, there are so many sons of wrestlers that I loved in the 80's now in the ring that I'm really starting to feel old. Good debut for the Million Dollar team.

Segment Rating: ** 1/2

Cryme Time Chillin' with Vinny Mac and Y2J

We're joined by Jericho and Vince backstage. Jericho wants a shot at HBK tonight in an effort to avenge his loss from a week ago. Vince says what the heck and grants the match. Then, Cryme Time shows up and after a really funny little rap that even Y2J and Vincenzo get in on, they tell us they're here for a cash opportunity. Vince says have at it and CT takes all the pictures of the Queen and London off the walls since Regal's reign is over. They're going to be auctioning them off a bit later in the show. It's funny how that office managed to stay intact, especially since Regal was fired about 1500 miles away from Denver on Raw the week before. Oh well...never let reality get in the way of a funny bit.

Mini-Segment Rating: **

Hot Rod Trains Cousin Sal

We pick up the action at an undisclosed wrestling facility where Hot Rod is putting Jimmy Kimmel's cousin Sal through his paces. In case you missed it, Santino challenged Sal to a match, and Piper accepted on his behalf, much to Sal's concern. So the Rowdy has taken it upon himself to get Sal into shape. He tells Sal that all the fun and games are over, and it's time for some serious in-ring work. Sal says he's ready, and Roddy proceeds to beat the hell out of him. Slaps, forearms, elbowdrops...you name it, Sal getting a taste of it. Meanwhile, Kimmel is at ringside egging Roddy on. "Give him the forearm! Do the Tickle-Me-Elmo!" In case you're wondering, the Tickle-Me-Elmo consists of Roddy take the point of his elbow and grinding it into Sal's chest and stomach. That's funny stuff. Kimmel then pulls out a vat of popcorn as he's watching Sal "live out his childhood dream". Sal, however, has seen more of Roddy than he'd care to and tries to escape the ring several times. Eventually, Sal says he's beat and wants to take a nap, so Roddy shows him his signature move, the sleeper. Jimmy and Roddy decide to go out to dinner and get some wings while Sal's enjoying his siesta. Nothing wrong with that segment. We'll see what Santino and Piper can get out of Sal at their match. Who knows, maybe Sal will surprise us and actually display some wrestling skills. I'm sorry, did I just write that? Segment Rating ** 1/2

JBL and Umaga v. Cena and J. Hardy

After another long set of entrances, we finally get things going, and frankly, Umaga and JBL dominate most of the match. Eventually Jeff hits a few high spots, and Cena goes through his "You can't see me" array of moves. But we eventually get to the endgame, and after a series of reversals and near-falls, JBL eludes the Swanton Bomb and hits the Clothesline From the Underworld on Hardy to put him down for the three count. Good tag-team match that had the crowd going bananas at the end. Boy, what are they putting in the Pepsi out there at the Pepsi Center. This crowd is jacked tonight.

Match Rating ***

Mr. Kennedy v. Carlito

Now that Kennedy has disposed of King Regal, he's moving on to smaller and less important things like Carlito. What's the point of this? Anyway, tidy little match that ends with Kennedy again hitting the mic check out of nowhere for the pin. But as the match ends, we find out what the point of this actually was as Paul Birchell and his sister come out and attack Kennedy. They're mad because he caused the firing of their friend and fellow Brit King Regal. That will teach Kennedy for opening his big yap. By the way, if I haven't mentioned this yet, I love Kennedy's new music. It just reeks of bad-assedness (I'm sure you'll find that in the dictionary). His schtick with the old-school mic coming down from the ceiling is also fantastic. They had to make him a baby-face...he's just too damn entertaining.

Segment Rating: ** 1/2

Chris Jericho or Y2J for short v. Shawn Michaels or HBK for short

Boy, this was another entertaining affair. Lots of back and forth action. Great wrestling, no resting. Unfortunately, we don't get a clean finish as both men are counted out as Y2J locks in the Walls of Jericho on HBK outside the ring. Then Jericho snaps. He's pissed he couldn't get the three count or submission on HBK. After the countout, Jericho loses it and slaps on the Walls again after dropping a few elbows into the small of his back. Jericho then grab a steel chair but just as he's about to strike, he has a change of heart. He puts the chair down, helps HBK up, and walks away with a pained and confused look on his face. Boy, this is such a damn good storyline. HBK has Batista in his sights at the PPV on Sunday, but what's up with Jericho? Will he interject himself into the match? Meanwhile, the crowd stays on HBK's side, even though he admitted he used deception and trickery to beat Batista at the last PPV by faking the knee injury. These are unchartered waters for the WWE, and I can't wait to see how it plays out.

Match Rating: *** 1/2

Closing Segment starring Vincent Kennedy McMahon

We're rejoined by Vince. He's also in full babyface mode tonight, by the way. He says he really appreciates all the WWE fans, and wants to do something to repay them for all their loyal years of watching his product and making the WWE the number one cable show in America. So he has two big announcements for us. First, the WWE draft lottery will be held in four weeks, and every superstar from Raw, Smackdown!, and ECW will be in the arena that night to find out which show they'll be wrestling on for the next year.

But Vince says that's nothing compared to what he's about to announce. He tells the fans that while he's still working out the final details, he plans on giving away a lot money over the upcoming weeks. As a matter of fact, he says he's going to give a sum of a million dollars of his own money to us, the WWE fans, because he's a billionaire and he can afford it!!!! He then stresses this isn't a trick or a gimmick or a evil plot. Simply put, he's giving away a million bucks, so stay tuned. The copyright pops up and the show ends.

Summary

Wow. Vince promised us something big and new, and once again he seems to be backing up his words. It will be interesting to see if Vince is going to give away a million bucks in one shot, or a total of a million over the upcoming weeks. I honestly think this is actually going to happen. As always, time will tell.

As for the rest of the show, I can't complain. Other than the opening segment which really dragged, the show moved nicely, and featured some darn good wrestling. The PPV has also been set up and teased properly. I must say, the WWE writers have really hit their stride over the past few weeks. Good show. I'll be back with a preview of One Night Stand over the weekend along with my predictions. See you then!

Show Rating ***