Motor City Madmen
RAW- 5/12/08
FROM THE MOTOR CITY, DETROIT, MICHIGAN
HOSTS: Good Ole JR and The King (Jerry Lawler, not William Regal)
Remember, each segment is rated on a scale of 1 to 5 stars!
Opening Segment
Lord Regal kicks things off by forcing Lilian Garcia to sing God Save The Queen instead of the Star Spangled Banner. Is there no end to his bastardness?!?!? Anyway, after Regal blathers on about getting the respect of the crowd, John Cena returns from his mini-vacation to interrupt Regal and let him know that everybody thinks he's screwing up RAW, and that if he keeps it up, he's going to get canned. Regal seems to take this to heart, and orders tonight's main event to be Cena vs. Orton. Cena is a non-believer, suspecting that he's being set-up by Regal. Regal promises anybody who interferes in the match will be suspended. Cena says game on, but we're not done. In an effort to turn a possibly hostile Detroit crowd in his favor, Cena goes on to talk about how this is the USA, not England, and that if Regal wants respect, then Lilian is going to give him some by singing RESPECT by Motown's own Aretha Franklin. I actually like Cena, but the butt smooching in this segment was ridiculous, even by Mick Foley standards. Anyway, we've got ourselves a main event for tonight. Rating: 1 1/2*
Santino & Carlito v. Cody Rhodes and Hardcore Holly
As a special treat, Rowdy Roddy Piper has been invited to watch the match at ringside by Santino. I smell a big mistake there. Hot Rod throws some schmuck out of his seat so he can sit and watch the match. That was pretty funny. Holly takes the early edge, but Santino and Carlito take over. After a brief beatdown, Santino goes to the top rope. This causes Piper to get up from his seat for a closer look. That gets Santino's attention. Santino argues with Piper and turns his back on Cody. You idiot Santino. He turns around to be greeted by a kick to the gut and a quick DDT for the pin. Match was nothing. Rating:* However, this is a nice little feud the Fed has scripted and it's nice to see the tag belts are actually getting some attention.
Mr. Kennedy v. Snitsky
This can best be described as a match to help Kennedy work off some ring rust. Standard fare as Snitsky plods along with his big, slow, goofy offense. Snitsky's got some love handles going there. I wonder if he's due for a drug test and had to lay off the you-know-what for a while. Anyway, Kennedy goes after Snitsky's knee which directly impacts the end of the match. Snitsky goes for his pump-handle slam finisher, but the knee gives out. That's the opening Kennedy needs as he hits the mic check for the easy three. Match was okay, and anytime the match's story leads to a direct impact on the ending, you'll get points from me. Rating: **
Melina and the Glamazon v. Mickie James and Maria
Glamazon dominates the early portion of the match, before tagging in Melina. Melina holds her own for a while, until the hot tag is made to Mickie. Mickie is smoking as she works over Melina...Melina briefly escapes and goes to tag the Glamazon who turns her back and walks away. Melina is chum in the water at this point as Mickie gets the pin. Later on, Melina confront the Glamazon to ask her what's up? Glam claims Melina intentionally hit her last week on Raw with the title belt because she knows if Mickie's champion she can beat her, but if the Glamazon is champ, she has no chance. That's actually believable. Melina responds with a couple of forearms to the Glam...big mistake. She goes bonkers and starts banging Melina's head up against some lockers with giant empty water bottles falling all over the place. Eventually, the gaggle of refs steps in to end the pounding. Hmmm...wonder where this is going? Match was okay: Rating: * The backstage stuff was actually quite intense and looked darnright harsh. Rating: ***
The Highlight Reel with Chris Jericho
Chris Jericho joins us in the center of the ring, and apologizes for not believing Shawn Michaels. He says he was wrong to doubt him, and that it's clear his knee is injured. As a matter of fact, he's willing to call off their match at Judgement Day so the knee can heal. That brings Shawn to the ring. Interesting note...while showing the replay of the injury, JR first says his left knee is injured, then he corrects himself to the right knee. But as Shawn limps to the ring, he's clearly favoring his left knee...huh? Jericho keeps interrupting HBK until Shawn finally stops him and simply says that he did indeed fake the injury. He admits it, and he's proud of it, because he'll do anything he has to do to win. Jericho accuses him of playing head games and says mama didn't raise no fool. He's been wrestling for 17 years, and he's knows HBK is hurt. HBK then proves his point by delivering a crisp superkick right to Jericho's chin. HBK reiterates that he is indeed 100 percent and strolls away from ringside, with no limp whatsoever, flipping himself over the top rope in the process. Wow! No BS...no games. Shawn, a crowd favorite, admits he faked the injury to win. The crowd is visibly confused. I guarantee you, nobody was expecting that. Meanwhile, I'm sure Batista is taking notes likes he's back in calculus class. Okay, maybe it was only advanced math. Great angle. Rating: ****
Jeff Hardy v. Umaga
Jeff Hardy makes his triumphant return (with new music) as his loyal followers give him a standing ovation for once again violating the WWE's drug policy. Jeff says he's sorry he made a mistake, but he wants to prove to his fans he's a better person for it. But as he begins to explain how he'll do that, King Regal cuts his mic and says he must be punished for his sins and that nobody wants to hear his mea culpa. That sends thousands of 14 year old boys to Google to find the definition of mea culpa. Hardy's punishment is a match with UMAGA. Boy, we've seen this match about a hundred times already, so what's one more for old time sake. After a quick assault by Jeff, Umaga takes over and sets up Hardy for the big butt splash, but Hardy dodges it...whisper in the wind by Jeff...cover on Umaga...1,2, thr...shoulder up...ee...The ref counts it, says he got to 3...wow, that looked a bit funky, but whatever. Jeff gets out of dodge. Umaga attacks the turnbuckle. Hmm. Match was about as long as a hiccup. Jeff is really over with the fans. He needs to stay sober for everybody's sake. Rating 1 1/2*
Sweet Singing Dick Murdoch and Lance Cade against Cryme Time
Cryme Time gets a big pop in Detroit, even though they're wearing Knicks paraphenalia. That's how bad the Knicks are...they can't even get booed in Detroit. Anyway, this is a quick little match that ends with Murdoch scoring the pinfall after countering a roll-up. Cade gushes over Murdoch's victory, and then gets the mic for him. Ever since Murdoch's been singing, the team's been winning, so he wants to keep the good times rolling. What will tonight's country western selection be from Murdoch? The Gambler by Kenny Rogers! Wow, going old school. By the way, that's the first album I ever owned back in the late 70's...good times, good times. Anyway, Murdoch gets through the chorus...YOU NEVER COUNT YOU'RE MONEY, WHEN YOU'RE SITTING AT THE TABLE...THEY'LL BE TIME ENOUGH FOR COUNTING, WHEN THE DEALING'S DONE...Really, Murdoch should go on Idol...not bad at all. So what does Murdoch get for his melodious tones? A stiff punch right between the eyes by Cade...twice. Well, there's your heel turn for Cade. Why did he turn? We'll find out, I'm guessing, next week. Match Rating: 1/4* Song Rating:**1/2
John Cena v. Randy Orton
Orton also has new music tonight. Wow, Vince must have nothing major on his mind this week. The match goes back and forth to start and we hit the break after Cena catches a stomp by Orton and somehow flips him over the top rope. When we come back, Orton has Cena in a chinlock! I'm shocked! Cena finally mounts some offense and throws Orton from the ring again. Interesting sidenote: The match featured a battle of "Cena" v. "Cena Sucks!" chants. Maybe the Fed knew what it was doing with all that butt-smooching at the start of the night. It's at this point that King Regal reemerges to proclaim the referee of the match unfit and introduces the new referee for the rest of the evening, JBL. JBL hits the ring, and Cena says the hell with it and attacks him. He then goes back to Orton...Orton up on Cena's shoulders as he readies for the FU, but JBL is back with a kick to the gut. Orton falls on top of Cena and JBL counts to three faster than Andre the Giant guzzled a six-pack at the Kowloon in Boston. Cena attacks JBL post-match only to get double-teamed. This brings out our world champion and king of kings, HHH. There's way too many kings on RAW right now...Lawler, Regal, HHH. Maybe they could form a new stable and call themselves "The Magi". Anyway, HHH and Orton battle as JBL and Cena fight through the crowd and out of camera range. Then, as Orton seems to gain the upper hand, a steel cage is lowered around the ring. HHH is set to be slammed into the cage, but he reverses Orton into a spinebuster. He then introduces Orton to the cage. Orton falls out of the ring and cage, and HHH stands on top of the menacing structure, triumphant. Now that's how you tease an upcoming PPV. Match was nothing special...Rating: 1 1/2* But the stuff post match was hot and actually has me considering dropping some coin for the PPV. Rating ***
Summery: I gotta admit, the card for Judgement Day is enticing:
HHH (champ) v. Orton
Cena v. JBL
Jericho v. Michaels
Undertaker (champ) v. Edge
Mickie James (champ) v.Melina v. Glamazon
The Miz & John Morrison (champs) v. ECW Champion Kane & CM Punk
Throw in a possible Murdoch v. Cade match, and that's a pretty strong card.
As for Raw, I'm impressed with the bold direction the Jericho-HBK storyline is heading in. The main event was also super hot, which leads to the two headline matches of HHH v. Orton and Cena v. JBL. All this plus the big match between The Undertaker and Edge representing Smackdown should lead to some quality sports entertainment. Kudos to the writers. Judgement Day may actually be worth watching.
FROM THE MOTOR CITY, DETROIT, MICHIGAN
HOSTS: Good Ole JR and The King (Jerry Lawler, not William Regal)
Remember, each segment is rated on a scale of 1 to 5 stars!
Opening Segment
Lord Regal kicks things off by forcing Lilian Garcia to sing God Save The Queen instead of the Star Spangled Banner. Is there no end to his bastardness?!?!? Anyway, after Regal blathers on about getting the respect of the crowd, John Cena returns from his mini-vacation to interrupt Regal and let him know that everybody thinks he's screwing up RAW, and that if he keeps it up, he's going to get canned. Regal seems to take this to heart, and orders tonight's main event to be Cena vs. Orton. Cena is a non-believer, suspecting that he's being set-up by Regal. Regal promises anybody who interferes in the match will be suspended. Cena says game on, but we're not done. In an effort to turn a possibly hostile Detroit crowd in his favor, Cena goes on to talk about how this is the USA, not England, and that if Regal wants respect, then Lilian is going to give him some by singing RESPECT by Motown's own Aretha Franklin. I actually like Cena, but the butt smooching in this segment was ridiculous, even by Mick Foley standards. Anyway, we've got ourselves a main event for tonight. Rating: 1 1/2*
Santino & Carlito v. Cody Rhodes and Hardcore Holly
As a special treat, Rowdy Roddy Piper has been invited to watch the match at ringside by Santino. I smell a big mistake there. Hot Rod throws some schmuck out of his seat so he can sit and watch the match. That was pretty funny. Holly takes the early edge, but Santino and Carlito take over. After a brief beatdown, Santino goes to the top rope. This causes Piper to get up from his seat for a closer look. That gets Santino's attention. Santino argues with Piper and turns his back on Cody. You idiot Santino. He turns around to be greeted by a kick to the gut and a quick DDT for the pin. Match was nothing. Rating:* However, this is a nice little feud the Fed has scripted and it's nice to see the tag belts are actually getting some attention.
Mr. Kennedy v. Snitsky
This can best be described as a match to help Kennedy work off some ring rust. Standard fare as Snitsky plods along with his big, slow, goofy offense. Snitsky's got some love handles going there. I wonder if he's due for a drug test and had to lay off the you-know-what for a while. Anyway, Kennedy goes after Snitsky's knee which directly impacts the end of the match. Snitsky goes for his pump-handle slam finisher, but the knee gives out. That's the opening Kennedy needs as he hits the mic check for the easy three. Match was okay, and anytime the match's story leads to a direct impact on the ending, you'll get points from me. Rating: **
Melina and the Glamazon v. Mickie James and Maria
Glamazon dominates the early portion of the match, before tagging in Melina. Melina holds her own for a while, until the hot tag is made to Mickie. Mickie is smoking as she works over Melina...Melina briefly escapes and goes to tag the Glamazon who turns her back and walks away. Melina is chum in the water at this point as Mickie gets the pin. Later on, Melina confront the Glamazon to ask her what's up? Glam claims Melina intentionally hit her last week on Raw with the title belt because she knows if Mickie's champion she can beat her, but if the Glamazon is champ, she has no chance. That's actually believable. Melina responds with a couple of forearms to the Glam...big mistake. She goes bonkers and starts banging Melina's head up against some lockers with giant empty water bottles falling all over the place. Eventually, the gaggle of refs steps in to end the pounding. Hmmm...wonder where this is going? Match was okay: Rating: * The backstage stuff was actually quite intense and looked darnright harsh. Rating: ***
The Highlight Reel with Chris Jericho
Chris Jericho joins us in the center of the ring, and apologizes for not believing Shawn Michaels. He says he was wrong to doubt him, and that it's clear his knee is injured. As a matter of fact, he's willing to call off their match at Judgement Day so the knee can heal. That brings Shawn to the ring. Interesting note...while showing the replay of the injury, JR first says his left knee is injured, then he corrects himself to the right knee. But as Shawn limps to the ring, he's clearly favoring his left knee...huh? Jericho keeps interrupting HBK until Shawn finally stops him and simply says that he did indeed fake the injury. He admits it, and he's proud of it, because he'll do anything he has to do to win. Jericho accuses him of playing head games and says mama didn't raise no fool. He's been wrestling for 17 years, and he's knows HBK is hurt. HBK then proves his point by delivering a crisp superkick right to Jericho's chin. HBK reiterates that he is indeed 100 percent and strolls away from ringside, with no limp whatsoever, flipping himself over the top rope in the process. Wow! No BS...no games. Shawn, a crowd favorite, admits he faked the injury to win. The crowd is visibly confused. I guarantee you, nobody was expecting that. Meanwhile, I'm sure Batista is taking notes likes he's back in calculus class. Okay, maybe it was only advanced math. Great angle. Rating: ****
Jeff Hardy v. Umaga
Jeff Hardy makes his triumphant return (with new music) as his loyal followers give him a standing ovation for once again violating the WWE's drug policy. Jeff says he's sorry he made a mistake, but he wants to prove to his fans he's a better person for it. But as he begins to explain how he'll do that, King Regal cuts his mic and says he must be punished for his sins and that nobody wants to hear his mea culpa. That sends thousands of 14 year old boys to Google to find the definition of mea culpa. Hardy's punishment is a match with UMAGA. Boy, we've seen this match about a hundred times already, so what's one more for old time sake. After a quick assault by Jeff, Umaga takes over and sets up Hardy for the big butt splash, but Hardy dodges it...whisper in the wind by Jeff...cover on Umaga...1,2, thr...shoulder up...ee...The ref counts it, says he got to 3...wow, that looked a bit funky, but whatever. Jeff gets out of dodge. Umaga attacks the turnbuckle. Hmm. Match was about as long as a hiccup. Jeff is really over with the fans. He needs to stay sober for everybody's sake. Rating 1 1/2*
Sweet Singing Dick Murdoch and Lance Cade against Cryme Time
Cryme Time gets a big pop in Detroit, even though they're wearing Knicks paraphenalia. That's how bad the Knicks are...they can't even get booed in Detroit. Anyway, this is a quick little match that ends with Murdoch scoring the pinfall after countering a roll-up. Cade gushes over Murdoch's victory, and then gets the mic for him. Ever since Murdoch's been singing, the team's been winning, so he wants to keep the good times rolling. What will tonight's country western selection be from Murdoch? The Gambler by Kenny Rogers! Wow, going old school. By the way, that's the first album I ever owned back in the late 70's...good times, good times. Anyway, Murdoch gets through the chorus...YOU NEVER COUNT YOU'RE MONEY, WHEN YOU'RE SITTING AT THE TABLE...THEY'LL BE TIME ENOUGH FOR COUNTING, WHEN THE DEALING'S DONE...Really, Murdoch should go on Idol...not bad at all. So what does Murdoch get for his melodious tones? A stiff punch right between the eyes by Cade...twice. Well, there's your heel turn for Cade. Why did he turn? We'll find out, I'm guessing, next week. Match Rating: 1/4* Song Rating:**1/2
John Cena v. Randy Orton
Orton also has new music tonight. Wow, Vince must have nothing major on his mind this week. The match goes back and forth to start and we hit the break after Cena catches a stomp by Orton and somehow flips him over the top rope. When we come back, Orton has Cena in a chinlock! I'm shocked! Cena finally mounts some offense and throws Orton from the ring again. Interesting sidenote: The match featured a battle of "Cena" v. "Cena Sucks!" chants. Maybe the Fed knew what it was doing with all that butt-smooching at the start of the night. It's at this point that King Regal reemerges to proclaim the referee of the match unfit and introduces the new referee for the rest of the evening, JBL. JBL hits the ring, and Cena says the hell with it and attacks him. He then goes back to Orton...Orton up on Cena's shoulders as he readies for the FU, but JBL is back with a kick to the gut. Orton falls on top of Cena and JBL counts to three faster than Andre the Giant guzzled a six-pack at the Kowloon in Boston. Cena attacks JBL post-match only to get double-teamed. This brings out our world champion and king of kings, HHH. There's way too many kings on RAW right now...Lawler, Regal, HHH. Maybe they could form a new stable and call themselves "The Magi". Anyway, HHH and Orton battle as JBL and Cena fight through the crowd and out of camera range. Then, as Orton seems to gain the upper hand, a steel cage is lowered around the ring. HHH is set to be slammed into the cage, but he reverses Orton into a spinebuster. He then introduces Orton to the cage. Orton falls out of the ring and cage, and HHH stands on top of the menacing structure, triumphant. Now that's how you tease an upcoming PPV. Match was nothing special...Rating: 1 1/2* But the stuff post match was hot and actually has me considering dropping some coin for the PPV. Rating ***
Summery: I gotta admit, the card for Judgement Day is enticing:
HHH (champ) v. Orton
Cena v. JBL
Jericho v. Michaels
Undertaker (champ) v. Edge
Mickie James (champ) v.Melina v. Glamazon
The Miz & John Morrison (champs) v. ECW Champion Kane & CM Punk
Throw in a possible Murdoch v. Cade match, and that's a pretty strong card.
As for Raw, I'm impressed with the bold direction the Jericho-HBK storyline is heading in. The main event was also super hot, which leads to the two headline matches of HHH v. Orton and Cena v. JBL. All this plus the big match between The Undertaker and Edge representing Smackdown should lead to some quality sports entertainment. Kudos to the writers. Judgement Day may actually be worth watching.
posted by The Grappling Greek at
8:45 AM
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