Million Dollar Mania

Raw Recap 6/2/08

Hosts : Good Ole JR and the King

Opening Segment

We are live from Bakersfield, CA and we start things off with the one and only World Heavyweight champion and most highest overlord, HHH. He makes his typically endless ring entrance before finally addressing the peons known as WWE wrestling fans. He shows us how he dispensed of Orton last night and confirms what many suspected at the PPV, that Orton broke his collarbone at the end of their match. We are then treated to the video of Randall splatting on the mat, and that is ONE SICK FALL. I'm not sure what was supposed to happen or how Randy was supposed to go over the top rope, but it wasn't that way, that's for sure. Anyway, now the Randy is ancient history, who's next?

Cue Cena's music, and here comes Homey to ringside to a noticeable mix of cheers and boos. If you had to ask, more boos in my opinion. Anyway, he says it's obvious who HHH next opponent should be, and that the whole world wants to see Cena v. the Game. Everybody except Jeff Hardy, that is. He bounces down to the ring and says he should be in line for a title shot after taking out Umaga. He proposes a match for tonight...himself v. Cena. HHH says whatever, no big woop to him. But Vince steps in to babble incoherently about his Million Dollar giveaway before coming up with a great idea...Cena v. Hardy. Ok?!?! Anyway, I guess the match is on and I'm betting that's our main event.

Segment Rating * 1/2

Mr. Kennedy v. Paul Burchill? Nope Umaga

We're back, and Mr. Kennedy is in the house. He grabs the overhead mic and talks about how he retired King Regal and made him cry like a little British pansy as he was leaving the arena. He says he's going to do the same thing to Burchill.

One sidenote...we now have confirmation as to why Regal was fired from his GM position. He has once again violated the Fed's Wellness policy and earned himself a 60 day suspension. Poor guy. He really is a very good wrestler, but he's clearly battling some inner demons he hasn't quite yet conquered. Here's to hoping he gets the help he needs and that he comes back better than ever.

Anyway, Birchell says he won't be wrestling tonight because he's busy helping his sister get ready for her first match. But he has found a suitable replacement...Umaga. The Samoan waddles to the ring, selling a rib injury he suffered the night before when Jeff Hardy Swanton Bombed him from the top of a 18 wheeler. After some brief offense, Kennedy works the ribs, and Umaga is really selling the injury tonight. Umaga eventually lands a karate thrust to the throat, and Kennedy lands out of the ring near the announce table. Umaga looks to pounce from the apron of the ring, but misses the big splash, crashing his ribs into the table in the process. Kennedy gets back into the ring, but Umaga can't make it back in before the 10 count. Kennedy gets the win via countout.

But as Kennedy's hand is raised, he is ambushed by Paul Birchell. I thought the Brits were supposed to be our ally? Anyway, Kennedy is laid out for the second week in a row by Birchell, who leaves a happy customer.

And then, for the first time ever, we cut to a shot of a million dollars being wheeled toward ringside. I wonder what's next.

Segment Rating **

Million Dollar Mania

We come back, and Vincenzo joins us from the top of the ramp and he's here to introduce our next guest...one million dollars!!! The money has its own entrance music and everything. Anyway, the money is under very heavy guard in case anybody in Bakersfield has any crazy ideas. Vince says it's real simple. Just go to WWE.com and register to enter and win. You have to answer a couple of questions, and must be a resident of the US, which Vince says may be a problem for at least a few people in Bakersfield! Zing! Anyway, Vince says this is his gift to the WWE fans whom he considers to be members of an elite club. The snobs of the world will never appreciate what we have in the WWE so screw them all. This money is for us, not them. Huh? Vince may be heavily medicated tonight, but the offer seems genuine. I know I'll be registering shortly.

Segment Rating: **

Santino & Carlito v. Cody Rhodes and Hardcore Holly (champs)

Before the match starts, Rhodes says he has a special guest timekeeper signed to work the match, and introduces none other than Rowdy Roddy Piper. Piper grabs a quick hug from Lillian before literally attacking the bell as JR points out. The match is on.

Carlito jumps Cody right away and he and Carlito work well together. Rhodes finally hits a high cross body from the second rope...1, 2, kickout. Carlito and Santino beat on Rhodes some more until he finally makes a tag to Hardcore. Hardcore gets some offense in. He sends Santino to the ropes, and Piper tries to trip him up. That draws the wrath of the referee. Meanwhile, Hardcore has Santino up for the Alabama Slam, but because the referee is distracted, Carlito comes in and kicks Holly in the gut. Santino rolls up Holly...1,2, 3! Santino's celebration is so over the top, it's damn funny. Carlito just stares at him and laughs. Meanwhile, Piper is not happy because he knows he cost Rhodes and Holly the match. Harmless enough segment, and you all know I love Santino.

Segment Rating: * 1/2


Santino Celebrates

When we come back from the break, Carlito is congratulating Santino on their big victory, when Todd Grishom steps in to get a word from Santino. Santino talks about the big win, and then turns his attention to Cousin Sal, who'll he be wrestling on Friday night Smackdown! He says Sal's whole family including Jiminy Kimmel will be there at ringside for the match. So in honor of Kimmel, he's made a top ten list of ways he's going to hurt Sal. Grishom corrects Santino and says that's Letterman's schtick, not Kimmel's. Then Santino says picture a big headline..."Santino sal-vages cousin Sal. No Santino, that's Leno's gimmick. Then he says Sal's whole family will be at ringside...looking pretty...for him to poop on!!! No, that's Triumph's line on Conan, not Kimmel. Anyway, Grishom walks away and Santino tells him that his suit looks great...for him to poop on! That segment was pure gold. Santino continues to rock in so many ways.

Segment Rating: ***

We then cut to the locker room and Hardcore wants to know why he wasn't told about Piper being at ringside for their match. Rhodes says it was supposed to be a surprise. Hardcore says no more surprises. He's the veteran on the team, and what he says goes! Got it! Okay!
Then Ted Dibiase, Jr. sticks his two cents in and tells Rhodes that he's just three weeks away from finding his new tag team partner and that they will be the next tag team champions of the world. Boy, you know when they let Hardcore actually speak that there's a lot of talking and not much wrestling going on.

Segment Rating: *

But wait, there's more talking! JR talks to Jericho backstage and asks him his feelings after watching HBK get taken out on a stretcher the night before at One Night Stand. Jericho gives a sappy speech about how HBK has always motivated him and that he's inspired him to defend the Intercontinental championship tonight against JBL. He then dedicates the match to HBK. Okay, Jericho's up to something.

Segment Rating: *1/2

Y2J v. JBL

Both men exchange some token offense at the start of the match, with JBL even locking in a full nelson. The match picks up when JBL goes to the top rope in an attempt to hit a back suplex. But Y2J reverses for a monster DDT that gets two. Then Jericho lays in some clotheslines, working on the neck of JBL which was injured the night before. Jericho goes for the high cross body, but gets caught with a fall-away slam. Whip to the corner, JBL eats an elbow, then a dropkick, then a missile dropkick off the top turnbuckle. Jericho goes for the baseball slide, but misses and eats a boot. JBL pushes the ref and gets a chair. That's enough for the DQ?!?! Aw, come on! Anyway, JBL looks to strike, but Jericho kicks the chair into JBL'S throat, and he's hurt. Jericho grabs the chair again, just like the week before against Michaels. Once again he's thinking about it. The good angel says don't do it, while the devil himself and nearly every fan in the arena says DO IT! DO IT! Once again he changes his mind, drops the chair, and walks away with his belt. Boy, this Jericho storyline has been something to watch for the last several weeks, and it's just continuing to simmer. Can't wait to see where the road ends.

Segment Rating: **

The Glamazon Beth Phoenix & Katie Lea Burchill v. Melina & Mickie James

Melina sells the back injury from her match with Phoenix the night before which means no jump split tonight. Damn that Glamazon.

We start things with Mickie and Katie Lea who do some chain wrestling to start. Mickie hits the hurricarana out of the corner and then works the arm. She goes to tag in Melina, but Melina says I don't think so. Wha? Burchill kicks Mickie in the gut and then tags in the Glam...Mickie with a few kicks to the Glams ribs and Melina absolutely freaks out and demands a tag. Melina goes batty and just keeps clawing and kicking and scratching at the Glam until they both roll outside the ring. Birchell steps in as well and eventually the Glam drops Melina with a clothesline. Back in the ring, and Katie Lea is tagged in and slams Melina. She misses the elbowdrop and Melina tags Mickie who's all over the place. Thesz Press from the top rope, and the crowd is really jacked. Mickie goes for twist of fate, but is pushed off. The Glam gets a cheap shot in on Mickie when she's down. Katie goes for the cover, and gets the 3 count?!?!

Birchell comes out to celebrate his sister's win, and Kennedy attacks from behind! Kennedy also goes bonkers, and eventually, Birchell gets knocked out of the ring and heads for higher ground. Wow, that was one intense segment all the way around, and the crowd was really getting into the divas actually, you know, wrestling!!! What a great concept!!!

Segment Rating ***

Segment is Temporarily Unavailable

During the break, I attempted to register at WWE.com for the million bucks and the server was down, clearly overwhelmed by all the traffic. Duh!!! Did they not think they'd get a million hits in an hour. Anyway, Jerry goes to register, and I'm screaming at the TV...he's gonna get an error! And sure enough, it happens on live TV! They cut quickly away, but Jerry simply explains the server can't handle all the traffic. What else was he supposed to do?!?!? I can't believe they sold Jerry down the river like that. Wouldn't you check to see if the server is working, especially on live tv?

Dick Murdoch v. Lance Cade

This is the blowoff to their break-up from a few weeks ago. Cade viciously attacks Murdoch to start. Big clothesline and then a big knee to the head with Murdoch's head wedged up against the ringpost. Murdoch eventually reverses things and takes control for a while. He then goes up to the top rope, only to eat a big fist to the gut. Cade then hits a new finishing move which can best be described as a combination of the side effect and powerbomb. Murdoch's not getting up from that. 1,2,3...goodnight. Four weeks of build-up, and the match takes two minutes. So much for Murdoch going somewhere. Looks like the Fed has it's eyes on Cade...I'm just not sure why. No singing for Murdoch post-match tonight, although he did give us a brief tune after his introduction.

Segment Rating: 1/4 * (big deduction for hanging the King out to dry online!)

On-line Update: Still no server...I'm guessing that's not going to change until about 3am.

Not Much of Anything Segment:

We get a recap of last night's One Night Stand, and when we come back, we cut to the King and JR who speak in somber and respectful tones about the Undertaker and how it's just not the same not having UT as part of the WWE anymore. Seriously, do they really expect us to believe he's gone forever. We just watched Ric Flair retire for real. When UT is truly retired, we'll all know, believe me.

We then cut to a little tete-a-tete between Cena and Mickie James. They kind of just chat like high school kids. Wow, that was lame. Anyway, it does perpetuate this subtle storyline that Mickie James likes to bang around and has screwed her way to the top. Interesting to see if that goes anywhere.

No rating here...nothing really happened.

We come back, and the King has finally logged in!!! He starts to register when JR tells him employees can't enter. King says no problem...he'll quit for a million bucks. Standby, I'm going to see if I can get in right now. Hold on for just one second. Website found...waiting for reply. Waiting...waiting...Nope, still got an error, but at least it's different from the last error!

John Cena v. Jeff Hardy

This should be interesting. Crowd will clearly be on Jeff's side. Quick low five and the match is on. And right away, a fan tries to get into the ring, twice. And Jeff and Cena just stop and start smiling and laughing. I really couldn't see what was happening, but it was distracting enough that the whole crowd is NOT paying attention to the action as the nut it taken from ringside. JR goes to an old standby: "You never know what's going to happen on live TV!" So Jeff grabs a headlock and holds Cena for about a minute until things calm down. Finally, Cena reverses...big hip toss...elbow drop..for two, and Cena grabs a chinlock. Whip, Hardy reverses, big hip toss, another toss, and a suplex...that's gets two...back to the headlock for Hardy. Cena powers out...drop toe hold, Cena kicked to the outside...Hardy lands a low drop kick and a plancha over the top rope, and we hit the break with Cena on his back on the floor. Meanwhile, I go back to WWE.com...standby.

NOPE...STILL NO LUCK! We come back from the break and Hardy hits a neckbreaker...the cover...1,2, no! Hardy up, whip is reversed...kick to the gut by Cena...suplex by Cena...cover...1,2, no! Crowd is beyond wired right now. Both men slowly get up...Cena misses a charge...another neckbreaker by Hardy...1,2, no!!! Cena's shoulder is up. Cena with another kick to the gut, and a facebuster...cover...1,2, no! Hardy kicks out to the delight of the crowd! Cena grabs Hardy, but the whip is reversed. Kick by Hardy and he plants Cena facefirst. Hardy to the top, Swanton...but Cena moves and the crowd is having a collective heart-attack! Cena powers up! Shoulder block, suplex, you can't see me...five knuckle shuffle connects! Cena goes for the FU but Hardy wiggles out...lands the elbow and a second. He hits the drop kick in the corner...1,2, no! Cena kicks out! Hardy whipped to the corner, Whisper in the Wind connects for Jeff. Once again he goes for the cover...1,2, thr...no!!!! That was about a millisecond away from three, and Bakersfield, CA may never be the same.

Hardy goes for the twist of fate, Cena counters and goes for an FU, but that's also countered. Hardy with a drop kick....High cross body from the top rope...connects! But Cena rolls through, still holding on to Hardy and picks him up...he's got him up on his shoulders, and the FU finally finishes things...1,2,3 !!!! Cena wins! And cue HHH's music?!?!? HHH is out. Cena meets him at the top of the ramp...the two stare each other down, and HHH reminds Cena who the champ is by holding up his belt, and we're out! What a great match!

Segment Rating: *** 1/2

Summary

Well, that was certainly an outstanding main event, and it's a good thing, because the rest of the show was pretty short on the wrestling side of things. We'll see what kind of rating Raw draws next week, especially with Million Dollar Mania taking effect. The women's match was the second best tilt of the night, and after that, there's not much really left to talk about except the continuing storyline of Jericho and his tormented soul. Next week should be a good one. As for me, I'm going back to WWE.com. Maybe I can get in now. Never mind. Who am I kidding?

Show Rating: ** 1/2

Prognostication Perfection

Well, almost! I went 6 for 7 on my One Night Stand predictions. My only error was not taking Cena over JBL. I'm surprised that match went the way it did. Are we going to be treated to another round of Cena v. HHH face v. face matches? Boy, we've been there and done that.

As for everything else, no real surprises.

HHH Defeats Randy Orton
Edge defeats Undertaker
Batista defeats Shawn Michaels
Hardy defeats Umaga
The Glamazon defeats Melina
Big Show defeats CM Punk, Chavo, Tommy Dreamer, and Morrison

I really was hoping Punk would go over the Big Show, but alas, my fears were right. Now Vince has set up his classic big man v. big man matchup for the ECW championship when Show takes on Kane.

Undertaker was indeed looking for a little summer break. Thanks to la Familla's interference, he lost the world title to Edge and has been fired from the WWE, well at least for a few months anyway. Don't worry UT fans...he'll be back from the dead soon.

Hardy defeated Umaga after landing the Swanton from the top of an 18 wheeler outside the arena. But all reports are that the segment was heavily edited, and that most likely, Hardy dove onto a mattress or something soft that was out of camera-view.

Batista stretchered HBK after landing a pair of power-bombs. The only curious development in the match was how Chris Jericho was used. He repeatedly came out to support Michaels and motivate and inspire him to get up and continue fighting. Weird? Where are they going with this storyline?

The Glam made Melina submit, and as I mentioned earlier, Cena took out JBL after forcing him to cough up blood by choking him with a steel chain while having the STFU locked in.

One other important note to come out of One Night Stand. It looks like Orton legitimately screwed up his shoulder after taking a wicked bump over the top rope. Apparently after the fall, the match quickly ended with HHH finding his trusty sledgehammer and unloading it on Randall's noggin. Referees and doctors then stayed with Orton for a long time before he was finally able to slowly get up and walk to the back. Early reports are broken collarbone, but we'll see what the official word is.

As for the show itself, word is it was a decent show, but certainly nothing that would blow you away. Edge and Undertaker seemed to be the big draw, and the rest of the show was simply passable. I'm sure the Orton injury cut short what may have turned into a decent match between him and HHH.

That's it for now...I'll be back later this week with my Raw recap...see ya then!

The Grappling Greek's Guesses

Okay, everybody. As promised I'm back with my predictions for One Night Stand. The card is absolutely loaded, so let's get right into things.

Melina v. Beth Phoenix (I Quit Match)

This little feud started when Melina accidentally hit Phoenix in a recent match against Mickie James. The feud continued at the last PPV when Melina did the job to Mickie, leaving The Glamazon on the outside looking in.

Prediction: While I really like the push that Melina has been getting and her turn to the babyface side of things, I simply can't see how she would go over the Glamazon in this match. They've built up Phoenix for months. Tearing her down now just doesn't make sense.

Winner : Beth Phoenix


Big Show v. John Morrison v. Tommy Dreamer v. Chavo Guerrero v. CM Punk (Singapore Cane Match)

I'll be the first to admit I'm not a regular watching of ECW, however I do know one thing. Tommy Dreamer will not win this match. Now, having said that, who will? Chavo? He doesn't need it...he's already getting the rub from the Familla and has other tacos to toast. John Morrison? Well, he pinned Punk cleanly on Tuesday night, which means he's not winning Sunday. That leaves Big Show and CM. My hope is that CM gets the duke. He was really making headway after winning the Money in the Bank match at Wrestlemania, but his push has been stalled out lately. He's the one I hope wins because he's a young star who has the potential to carry the company someday, in my opinion. However, I'm not sure the WWE has the foresight to have him go over Big Show, who really doesn't need this match. Winning here will do nothing for his career.

Prediction: CM Punk, but I'm nervous Big Show will actually win.


Jeff Hardy v. Umaga (falls count anywhere match)

Of all the matches on the card, this is the one that I feel is the toughest to call. Both wrestlers have jobbed to each other in the past. Hardy was on a real roll until his substance abuse suspension slowed him down. Umaga continues to impress in-ring and remains a marketable monster, capable of anything. Will the Fed punish Jeff for his out-of-ring transgressions, or do they want to fast-track him back toward the top of the card. My guess is the latter.

Prediction: Jeff Hardy


Shawn Michaels v. Batista (Stretcher Match)

This may be one of the better stories the WWE has told in a long time. It all started with Batista resenting Michaels for being the one who retired Ric Flair. Bats didn't believe Michaels claims that he didn't want to retire Flair, he was simply doing his job. He said Michaels ego is so big that he relished in being the one who forced the Nature Boy to hang up his boots. So at their PPV match, the two fought it out. Bats looked to be in control of things until Michaels blew out his knee. Bats laid off because he was genuinely concerned for Michaels. Then out of nowhere, HBK connected with a booming superkick for the 3 count. That left special guest referee Chris Jericho puzzled. He accused Michaels of faking the injury. Michaels denied it for weeks, until once again scrambling Jericho's brain with another round of Sweet Chin Music. Meanwhile, Bats vowed to injure HBK if his knee injury turned out to be a hoax, which it did. As for Jericho, his inability to beat HBK has caused him to nearly lose it. He threatened a full heel turn attack on Raw Monday night by going after HBK with a steel chair. But before doing the deed, he reconsidered at the last minute. How will Jericho affect this match on Sunday?

My guess is that Batista lays out HBK, with some help from Jericho. Batista walks away from the match saying he didn't ask for the help, but what happened, happened. It's just business. That's good enough to keep him on the fans side. As for Jericho, he goes full blown heel, asking how true wrestling fans can root for a faker like Michaels. HBK takes a few weeks off because of serious injuries he suffered during the match (maybe even a knee injury?) and then returns stronger than ever, in full babyface mode.

Prediction: Batista


John Cena v. John Bradshaw Layfield (First Blood Match)

The history between these two is well-documented. JBL has been chasing the gold since leaving his color commentary post on Smackdown! He needs to get through Cena to get to his ultimate goal, the WWE world championship. Cena also wants his belt back, and JBL stands in the way.

This type of match favors JBL. He's a much better brawler than wrestler, and that will certainly help him here. Also, my guess is that JBL will be next one to challenge HHH for the gold, so that means he goes over Cena here.

Prediction: JBL


Edge v. Undertaker (Tables, Ladders, and Chairs Match)

Talk about feuds that have long legs...this one has been going on for months on end. Briefly, Edge lost his title to the Undertaker at Wrestlemania, and has been doing everything in his power to get it back. That includes literally getting into bed with Smackdown! general manager Vicki Guerrero. Vicki and her Familla have done everything they can to screw with the Undertaker, including stripping him of his belt. They also staged an attack on Smackdown! that left the Undertaker in a casket and Edge standing triumphant on a ladder. That is until the lights went out, and Undertaker mysteriously emerged from the casket to throw Edge off the ladder and destroy the rest of The Familla. Can I digress for a moment? I appreciate the Undertaker and everything he's done in his 18 years in the WWE. But am I supposed to believe he magically escaped a casket after being attacked by six guys? Boy, it's not a lot to ask for Undertaker to do the job to six guys, is it?

Anyway, my guess here is that Edge wins the belt with copious amounts of help from the Familla. Undertaker is due for a vacation, and it is summer after all.

Prediction: Edge


WWE Champion HHH v. Randy Orton (Last Man Standing Match)

And speaking of feuds with long legs, here's another one. This two have been battling for the belt for months. Both are former members of Evolution, now they're bitter enemies. There's nothing really more to say than that.

As for the actual match, it should be long and brutal. But in the end, there's no way HHH loses here. I think the dip in ratings during the Randall era clearly got through to Vince, and he's going to stick with someone he trusts, HHH. Oh, and did I mention that HHH is schtooping Vince's daughter?!?!?

Prediction: HHH


This looks like a fantastic card. How profetic am I? We'll find out Sunday night. I'll be back with a quick ppv recap on Monday. See ya then!

Bribery Will Get You Everywhere

Raw Report for 5/26/08

JR and the King are live from Denver, CO

Opening Segment

We open things up with the mad genius better known as Vince McMahon in what we can now call former GM William Regal's office. He lets us know that he's going to announce something tonight that's earth-shattering and that we will all witness something we've never seen before. He wants to thank his loyal fans and show them some appreciation. Okay Vince...I'm in, but this better be good.

We then cut to the ring for a special verbal confrontation featuring our most high overload and king of kings HHH and one Randall Orton. Boy...One word best describes this segment...endless. The conversation goes something like this:

Randall: Me, better wrestler than you...me be last man standing at Pay Per View...me win me's belt back. You, bad. Fire, bad...etc.

HHH: You're going to lose Randall because I'm the 107 time world champion...I'm also in tight with the boss because I'm having sex with his daughter in real life, and she's expecting our second baby soon. So there's no way you're going to win the belt back. The Age of Orton is a distant memory. I rock.

Really, that's all that was said, and it took fifteen minutes to say it. Talk about killing the crowd right out of the gate.

Segment Rating: 1/2 *


Gillian Hall v. Melina With The Glamazon at Ringside

Pre-match we get a typically hideous performance by Gillian. I'll give her this...she's really good and singing really bad. Her version of "No Chance In Hell" may never leave the deep recesses of my mind. By the way, Melina is in full-blown babyface mode and because of that, she rewards us by making her entrance with her trademark jump split under the bottom ring rope. That's always impressed me...in so many ways. Anyway, the match is rather fast-paced with Gillian getting in a surprising amount of offense on Melina. On commentary, Glam asks Lawler if there's any diva in the history of the WWE who he thinks would make her submit in a match. Lawler seems genuinely surprised by the question and offers up nothing in response. My, how quickly we've forgotten the eighth wonder of the wonder, Chyna. Of course, I'm not talking about Chyna in her present drug-induced state. But back in her heyday, she and the Glam would be a match I might actually pay to see.

Anyway, back to the match and Melina settles things down and they trade a lot of hair-pulling offense until we get to the endgame. Melina rolls through and it appears they botch the ending. Eventually, Melina using a submission move that I should know the name of but I don't. Gillian taps. Melina poses and stares The Glam down. I'd say they've done a decent job setting up their "I quit" match at One Night Stand.

Segment Rating: 1 1/2 *

London and Kendrick v. Holly and Rhodes

Some classic tagteam wrestling here as London and Kendrick isolate Rhodes for a good portion of the match, making frequent tags and a variety of high-flying moves. Wow, the crowd is really into this match and I can't figure out why. After an extended beatdown, Rhodes finally makes the tag to Holly. Match ends when London gets thrown over the top rope, but wait...he skins the cat and pulls himself back over the ropes and right into the waiting arms of Holly who finishes things with the Alabama Slam. Good match, and the crowd actually expressed some interest in the match. Hardcore must be pinching himself.

Match Rating: **

Post-Match Festivities

But wait, there's more! The Million Dollar Man's music comes up and we are indeed joined by Ted Dibiase. He is here to explain why he met with Mr. McMahon last week. He also tells Holly and Rhodes that their title reign will soon end because Vince has signed a new wrestler, and we're all going to meet him right now. It's his son, Ted Dibiase, Jr. I must admit, he looks good. Junior comes out and says he's always dreamed of being a champion, so he's going to find himself a partner and start with the tag belts. He then closes things out by playing off his dad's old catch-phrase. "Everybody has a price, but as for me, well I'm priceless." Okay, I admit that's a little lame, but I love it when the WWE uses its rich history in modern-day story-lines. However, there are so many sons of wrestlers that I loved in the 80's now in the ring that I'm really starting to feel old. Good debut for the Million Dollar team.

Segment Rating: ** 1/2

Cryme Time Chillin' with Vinny Mac and Y2J

We're joined by Jericho and Vince backstage. Jericho wants a shot at HBK tonight in an effort to avenge his loss from a week ago. Vince says what the heck and grants the match. Then, Cryme Time shows up and after a really funny little rap that even Y2J and Vincenzo get in on, they tell us they're here for a cash opportunity. Vince says have at it and CT takes all the pictures of the Queen and London off the walls since Regal's reign is over. They're going to be auctioning them off a bit later in the show. It's funny how that office managed to stay intact, especially since Regal was fired about 1500 miles away from Denver on Raw the week before. Oh well...never let reality get in the way of a funny bit.

Mini-Segment Rating: **

Hot Rod Trains Cousin Sal

We pick up the action at an undisclosed wrestling facility where Hot Rod is putting Jimmy Kimmel's cousin Sal through his paces. In case you missed it, Santino challenged Sal to a match, and Piper accepted on his behalf, much to Sal's concern. So the Rowdy has taken it upon himself to get Sal into shape. He tells Sal that all the fun and games are over, and it's time for some serious in-ring work. Sal says he's ready, and Roddy proceeds to beat the hell out of him. Slaps, forearms, elbowdrops...you name it, Sal getting a taste of it. Meanwhile, Kimmel is at ringside egging Roddy on. "Give him the forearm! Do the Tickle-Me-Elmo!" In case you're wondering, the Tickle-Me-Elmo consists of Roddy take the point of his elbow and grinding it into Sal's chest and stomach. That's funny stuff. Kimmel then pulls out a vat of popcorn as he's watching Sal "live out his childhood dream". Sal, however, has seen more of Roddy than he'd care to and tries to escape the ring several times. Eventually, Sal says he's beat and wants to take a nap, so Roddy shows him his signature move, the sleeper. Jimmy and Roddy decide to go out to dinner and get some wings while Sal's enjoying his siesta. Nothing wrong with that segment. We'll see what Santino and Piper can get out of Sal at their match. Who knows, maybe Sal will surprise us and actually display some wrestling skills. I'm sorry, did I just write that? Segment Rating ** 1/2

JBL and Umaga v. Cena and J. Hardy

After another long set of entrances, we finally get things going, and frankly, Umaga and JBL dominate most of the match. Eventually Jeff hits a few high spots, and Cena goes through his "You can't see me" array of moves. But we eventually get to the endgame, and after a series of reversals and near-falls, JBL eludes the Swanton Bomb and hits the Clothesline From the Underworld on Hardy to put him down for the three count. Good tag-team match that had the crowd going bananas at the end. Boy, what are they putting in the Pepsi out there at the Pepsi Center. This crowd is jacked tonight.

Match Rating ***

Mr. Kennedy v. Carlito

Now that Kennedy has disposed of King Regal, he's moving on to smaller and less important things like Carlito. What's the point of this? Anyway, tidy little match that ends with Kennedy again hitting the mic check out of nowhere for the pin. But as the match ends, we find out what the point of this actually was as Paul Birchell and his sister come out and attack Kennedy. They're mad because he caused the firing of their friend and fellow Brit King Regal. That will teach Kennedy for opening his big yap. By the way, if I haven't mentioned this yet, I love Kennedy's new music. It just reeks of bad-assedness (I'm sure you'll find that in the dictionary). His schtick with the old-school mic coming down from the ceiling is also fantastic. They had to make him a baby-face...he's just too damn entertaining.

Segment Rating: ** 1/2

Chris Jericho or Y2J for short v. Shawn Michaels or HBK for short

Boy, this was another entertaining affair. Lots of back and forth action. Great wrestling, no resting. Unfortunately, we don't get a clean finish as both men are counted out as Y2J locks in the Walls of Jericho on HBK outside the ring. Then Jericho snaps. He's pissed he couldn't get the three count or submission on HBK. After the countout, Jericho loses it and slaps on the Walls again after dropping a few elbows into the small of his back. Jericho then grab a steel chair but just as he's about to strike, he has a change of heart. He puts the chair down, helps HBK up, and walks away with a pained and confused look on his face. Boy, this is such a damn good storyline. HBK has Batista in his sights at the PPV on Sunday, but what's up with Jericho? Will he interject himself into the match? Meanwhile, the crowd stays on HBK's side, even though he admitted he used deception and trickery to beat Batista at the last PPV by faking the knee injury. These are unchartered waters for the WWE, and I can't wait to see how it plays out.

Match Rating: *** 1/2

Closing Segment starring Vincent Kennedy McMahon

We're rejoined by Vince. He's also in full babyface mode tonight, by the way. He says he really appreciates all the WWE fans, and wants to do something to repay them for all their loyal years of watching his product and making the WWE the number one cable show in America. So he has two big announcements for us. First, the WWE draft lottery will be held in four weeks, and every superstar from Raw, Smackdown!, and ECW will be in the arena that night to find out which show they'll be wrestling on for the next year.

But Vince says that's nothing compared to what he's about to announce. He tells the fans that while he's still working out the final details, he plans on giving away a lot money over the upcoming weeks. As a matter of fact, he says he's going to give a sum of a million dollars of his own money to us, the WWE fans, because he's a billionaire and he can afford it!!!! He then stresses this isn't a trick or a gimmick or a evil plot. Simply put, he's giving away a million bucks, so stay tuned. The copyright pops up and the show ends.

Summary

Wow. Vince promised us something big and new, and once again he seems to be backing up his words. It will be interesting to see if Vince is going to give away a million bucks in one shot, or a total of a million over the upcoming weeks. I honestly think this is actually going to happen. As always, time will tell.

As for the rest of the show, I can't complain. Other than the opening segment which really dragged, the show moved nicely, and featured some darn good wrestling. The PPV has also been set up and teased properly. I must say, the WWE writers have really hit their stride over the past few weeks. Good show. I'll be back with a preview of One Night Stand over the weekend along with my predictions. See you then!

Show Rating ***

Judgement Day Results/Raw Preview

The Grappling Greek has returned with a quick recap of last night's big Judgement Day PPV.

HHH (champ) pins Randy Orton

This was a brutal 30 minute affair...Trips finally gets the W by planting the Age of Orton with a pedigree. Thanks for playing Randy.

HBK pins Chris Jericho

Simply put, a fantastic back and forth encounter that ends in stunning fashion. Y2J goes for the Walls of Jericho, but out of nowhere HBK rolls up Jericho in a small package for the win. This was indeed a showstopper by The Showstopper and Jericho.

John Cena pins JBL

Again, no big surprises here. JBL dominates for a good chunk of the match, but Cena pulls out the victory by connecting with a desperation FU. JBL should be good and ornery tonight. I wonder if the market dropped today after his loss was publicized.

Jeff Hardy pins MVP

MVP makes an open challenge to the WWE locker room. He wants a match at the PPV. Matt comes out and says he's got nothing left to prove. He's already punked MVP. But he knows somebody who'd love to take a shot at Montel. It's his brother Jeff!!! Decent match that ends with Jeff pinning MVP after he hits the whisper in the wind. Interesting note...Jeff's last two matches have ended with that move, and not the Swanton Bomb off the top rope. I wonder if his neck is bothering him, or if somebody said to him "no more jumping on your head off the top rope."

Mickie James (champ) pins Melina

This was a triple threat match with Beth Phoenix, The Glamazon. If you couldn't see this ending from about five miles away, then you're not a true wrestling geek like me. Mickie pins Melina. The Glam maintains her monster status, and I'd be willing to bet that a singles match between Mickie and The Glam occurs somewhere down the road. Hmmm...maybe at the next PPV? Ya think?!?

Undertaker defeats Edge by countout

Well I guess every PPV, other than Wrestlemania, needs at least one cop-out finish somewhere and the card, and this is it. Match ends with both Edge and Undertaker fighting outside. Undertaker gets in before the 10 count...Edge doesn't. Taker wins the belt, right? Wrong!!! Smackdown! GM Vicki Guerrero reminds us that a champion can only be crowned by pinfall or submission. So the title remains vacant, for now.

The Miz & John Morrison (champs) pins Kane and CM Punk

From the "how the hell did this get on the PPV" department, The Miz and Morrison retain their WWE tag titles by defeating the two biggest stars in ECW. One question...what sense does it make to have your two biggest names lose to two guys who the fans have little or no connection with? I'm just saying...let's find two schmucks to do the job, not your two most marketable guys. Geez.

So not a bad pay-per-view. All the champs maintained the status quo, while the WWE championship remains in limbo. And, not surprisingly, Jericho and Michaels delivered the goods.

Tonight's Raw is looking solid. Jericho takes on Batista with the winner getting HBK at the next PPV. Also, JBL and Cena may be renewing their hostilities. Plus, last but not least, Rowdy Roddy Piper makes his first in-ring appearance in a long, long time. Piper will tangle with Santino. This match was made after Santino crashed Jimmy Kimmel's show last week and ruined cousin Sal's birthday party. If you haven't seen this segment, go find it on youtube now. It involves Hooters, chicken wings, Santino, Piper, and a birthday cake in the face. Should be entertaining. I know what I'll be doing tonight.

Motor City Madmen

RAW- 5/12/08

FROM THE MOTOR CITY, DETROIT, MICHIGAN

HOSTS: Good Ole JR and The King (Jerry Lawler, not William Regal)

Remember, each segment is rated on a scale of 1 to 5 stars!

Opening Segment

Lord Regal kicks things off by forcing Lilian Garcia to sing God Save The Queen instead of the Star Spangled Banner. Is there no end to his bastardness?!?!? Anyway, after Regal blathers on about getting the respect of the crowd, John Cena returns from his mini-vacation to interrupt Regal and let him know that everybody thinks he's screwing up RAW, and that if he keeps it up, he's going to get canned. Regal seems to take this to heart, and orders tonight's main event to be Cena vs. Orton. Cena is a non-believer, suspecting that he's being set-up by Regal. Regal promises anybody who interferes in the match will be suspended. Cena says game on, but we're not done. In an effort to turn a possibly hostile Detroit crowd in his favor, Cena goes on to talk about how this is the USA, not England, and that if Regal wants respect, then Lilian is going to give him some by singing RESPECT by Motown's own Aretha Franklin. I actually like Cena, but the butt smooching in this segment was ridiculous, even by Mick Foley standards. Anyway, we've got ourselves a main event for tonight. Rating: 1 1/2*

Santino & Carlito v. Cody Rhodes and Hardcore Holly

As a special treat, Rowdy Roddy Piper has been invited to watch the match at ringside by Santino. I smell a big mistake there. Hot Rod throws some schmuck out of his seat so he can sit and watch the match. That was pretty funny. Holly takes the early edge, but Santino and Carlito take over. After a brief beatdown, Santino goes to the top rope. This causes Piper to get up from his seat for a closer look. That gets Santino's attention. Santino argues with Piper and turns his back on Cody. You idiot Santino. He turns around to be greeted by a kick to the gut and a quick DDT for the pin. Match was nothing. Rating:* However, this is a nice little feud the Fed has scripted and it's nice to see the tag belts are actually getting some attention.

Mr. Kennedy v. Snitsky

This can best be described as a match to help Kennedy work off some ring rust. Standard fare as Snitsky plods along with his big, slow, goofy offense. Snitsky's got some love handles going there. I wonder if he's due for a drug test and had to lay off the you-know-what for a while. Anyway, Kennedy goes after Snitsky's knee which directly impacts the end of the match. Snitsky goes for his pump-handle slam finisher, but the knee gives out. That's the opening Kennedy needs as he hits the mic check for the easy three. Match was okay, and anytime the match's story leads to a direct impact on the ending, you'll get points from me. Rating: **

Melina and the Glamazon v. Mickie James and Maria

Glamazon dominates the early portion of the match, before tagging in Melina. Melina holds her own for a while, until the hot tag is made to Mickie. Mickie is smoking as she works over Melina...Melina briefly escapes and goes to tag the Glamazon who turns her back and walks away. Melina is chum in the water at this point as Mickie gets the pin. Later on, Melina confront the Glamazon to ask her what's up? Glam claims Melina intentionally hit her last week on Raw with the title belt because she knows if Mickie's champion she can beat her, but if the Glamazon is champ, she has no chance. That's actually believable. Melina responds with a couple of forearms to the Glam...big mistake. She goes bonkers and starts banging Melina's head up against some lockers with giant empty water bottles falling all over the place. Eventually, the gaggle of refs steps in to end the pounding. Hmmm...wonder where this is going? Match was okay: Rating: * The backstage stuff was actually quite intense and looked darnright harsh. Rating: ***

The Highlight Reel with Chris Jericho

Chris Jericho joins us in the center of the ring, and apologizes for not believing Shawn Michaels. He says he was wrong to doubt him, and that it's clear his knee is injured. As a matter of fact, he's willing to call off their match at Judgement Day so the knee can heal. That brings Shawn to the ring. Interesting note...while showing the replay of the injury, JR first says his left knee is injured, then he corrects himself to the right knee. But as Shawn limps to the ring, he's clearly favoring his left knee...huh? Jericho keeps interrupting HBK until Shawn finally stops him and simply says that he did indeed fake the injury. He admits it, and he's proud of it, because he'll do anything he has to do to win. Jericho accuses him of playing head games and says mama didn't raise no fool. He's been wrestling for 17 years, and he's knows HBK is hurt. HBK then proves his point by delivering a crisp superkick right to Jericho's chin. HBK reiterates that he is indeed 100 percent and strolls away from ringside, with no limp whatsoever, flipping himself over the top rope in the process. Wow! No BS...no games. Shawn, a crowd favorite, admits he faked the injury to win. The crowd is visibly confused. I guarantee you, nobody was expecting that. Meanwhile, I'm sure Batista is taking notes likes he's back in calculus class. Okay, maybe it was only advanced math. Great angle. Rating: ****


Jeff Hardy v. Umaga

Jeff Hardy makes his triumphant return (with new music) as his loyal followers give him a standing ovation for once again violating the WWE's drug policy. Jeff says he's sorry he made a mistake, but he wants to prove to his fans he's a better person for it. But as he begins to explain how he'll do that, King Regal cuts his mic and says he must be punished for his sins and that nobody wants to hear his mea culpa. That sends thousands of 14 year old boys to Google to find the definition of mea culpa. Hardy's punishment is a match with UMAGA. Boy, we've seen this match about a hundred times already, so what's one more for old time sake. After a quick assault by Jeff, Umaga takes over and sets up Hardy for the big butt splash, but Hardy dodges it...whisper in the wind by Jeff...cover on Umaga...1,2, thr...shoulder up...ee...The ref counts it, says he got to 3...wow, that looked a bit funky, but whatever. Jeff gets out of dodge. Umaga attacks the turnbuckle. Hmm. Match was about as long as a hiccup. Jeff is really over with the fans. He needs to stay sober for everybody's sake. Rating 1 1/2*


Sweet Singing Dick Murdoch and Lance Cade against Cryme Time

Cryme Time gets a big pop in Detroit, even though they're wearing Knicks paraphenalia. That's how bad the Knicks are...they can't even get booed in Detroit. Anyway, this is a quick little match that ends with Murdoch scoring the pinfall after countering a roll-up. Cade gushes over Murdoch's victory, and then gets the mic for him. Ever since Murdoch's been singing, the team's been winning, so he wants to keep the good times rolling. What will tonight's country western selection be from Murdoch? The Gambler by Kenny Rogers! Wow, going old school. By the way, that's the first album I ever owned back in the late 70's...good times, good times. Anyway, Murdoch gets through the chorus...YOU NEVER COUNT YOU'RE MONEY, WHEN YOU'RE SITTING AT THE TABLE...THEY'LL BE TIME ENOUGH FOR COUNTING, WHEN THE DEALING'S DONE...Really, Murdoch should go on Idol...not bad at all. So what does Murdoch get for his melodious tones? A stiff punch right between the eyes by Cade...twice. Well, there's your heel turn for Cade. Why did he turn? We'll find out, I'm guessing, next week. Match Rating: 1/4* Song Rating:**1/2

John Cena v. Randy Orton

Orton also has new music tonight. Wow, Vince must have nothing major on his mind this week. The match goes back and forth to start and we hit the break after Cena catches a stomp by Orton and somehow flips him over the top rope. When we come back, Orton has Cena in a chinlock! I'm shocked! Cena finally mounts some offense and throws Orton from the ring again. Interesting sidenote: The match featured a battle of "Cena" v. "Cena Sucks!" chants. Maybe the Fed knew what it was doing with all that butt-smooching at the start of the night. It's at this point that King Regal reemerges to proclaim the referee of the match unfit and introduces the new referee for the rest of the evening, JBL. JBL hits the ring, and Cena says the hell with it and attacks him. He then goes back to Orton...Orton up on Cena's shoulders as he readies for the FU, but JBL is back with a kick to the gut. Orton falls on top of Cena and JBL counts to three faster than Andre the Giant guzzled a six-pack at the Kowloon in Boston. Cena attacks JBL post-match only to get double-teamed. This brings out our world champion and king of kings, HHH. There's way too many kings on RAW right now...Lawler, Regal, HHH. Maybe they could form a new stable and call themselves "The Magi". Anyway, HHH and Orton battle as JBL and Cena fight through the crowd and out of camera range. Then, as Orton seems to gain the upper hand, a steel cage is lowered around the ring. HHH is set to be slammed into the cage, but he reverses Orton into a spinebuster. He then introduces Orton to the cage. Orton falls out of the ring and cage, and HHH stands on top of the menacing structure, triumphant. Now that's how you tease an upcoming PPV. Match was nothing special...Rating: 1 1/2* But the stuff post match was hot and actually has me considering dropping some coin for the PPV. Rating ***


Summery: I gotta admit, the card for Judgement Day is enticing:

HHH (champ) v. Orton
Cena v. JBL
Jericho v. Michaels
Undertaker (champ) v. Edge
Mickie James (champ) v.Melina v. Glamazon
The Miz & John Morrison (champs) v. ECW Champion Kane & CM Punk

Throw in a possible Murdoch v. Cade match, and that's a pretty strong card.

As for Raw, I'm impressed with the bold direction the Jericho-HBK storyline is heading in. The main event was also super hot, which leads to the two headline matches of HHH v. Orton and Cena v. JBL. All this plus the big match between The Undertaker and Edge representing Smackdown should lead to some quality sports entertainment. Kudos to the writers. Judgement Day may actually be worth watching.

Breaking News

A little breaking news for you on a Friday afternoon. Hulk Hogan appeared in a courtroom in Florida moments ago to testify at his son's Nick reckless driving hearing. MSNBC carried the proceedings live. Hmm. Must be a slow news day.

Anyway, Nick faced up to five years in prison for causing an accident that has left his best friend, John Graziano, brain damaged. The Hulkster read a statement that talked about how clos e his son and friend were, and how remorseful Nick has been about the accident. Then, Hulk's now ex-wife Linda briefly spoke. She didn't last long, however, as she broke down while giving her remarks.

Apparently their words fell on somewhat deaf ears as the judge in the case sentenced Nick Bollea to eight months in prison and five years probation, but no prison time. Let's hope Nick is able to keep on the straight and narrow and straighten out his life and that John is able to at least somewhat recover from his serious injuries.