Fade To Black!??!?!?!?

Welcome Back! The Grappling Greek is here with a full recap of last night's Raw! Like so many other internet recappers, I like giving a rating of one to five stars for each match. Remember, TV matches are rated on a different scale than Pay-Per-Views.


4/28/08...Jerry and JR are live in East Rutherford, NJ for another edition of Raw!


OPENING SEGMENT

We kick things off with the king of kings, HHH, coming out to do some gloating about becoming a 12-time WWE Champion! He ought to have that speech down pat by now. By the way, this may have been the longest ring entrance in RAW history. We're five minutes into the show, and nothing has happened...I mean nothing! Finally, Trips talks about the Age of Orton being over and that "The Game" is back for good. That brings Orton out, and he's in a foul mood. He's invoking his rematch clause and he's doing it tonight!!! HHH signs off and I believe we have ourselves a main event.


12 DIVA TAG TEAM MATCH

After the break, it's time for a 12 diva tagteam match. Mickie James, Maria, Michelle Mccool, two divas I've never heard of, and the delicious KELLY KELLY, vs. the Glamazon, Melina, Victoria, Gillian, and two divas I've never heard of. The Glamazon attacks poor Kelly from the start and after a vicious two-armed choke slam tags in Victoria...she continues the beatdown and things look bleak for Kelly. Melina then gets in on the fun, draping Kelly in the Tree of Woe. Eventually Gillian gets in the ring, and goes for the handspring elbow but Kelly boots her in the back. Kelly tags in Mickey who's firing on all cylinders. Hurricarana for Gillian...Thesz Press...The Glamazon gets in a cheap shot, and Mickie gets whipped to the ropes...reversal, roll-up...bridge...1,2, 3! Wow, that's like 8 divas who never got involved in the match...RATING 1/2 *.

JBL VS. HIGHLANDER ROBBIE (Weighing 17 stone)

JBL is all business tonight. He's angry that he was the first one eliminated in last night's fatal four way main event. I don't like Robbie's chances tonight. Punch, punch, kick...side souplex...punch, kick, kick, clothesline from hell...goodnight Irene. That was a big can of squash...Rating 1/4* ...post match, JBL says he's challanging the winner of Orton-HHH at the next PPV. Ugh!

MURDOCH & CADE VS. LONDON & KENDRICK

After more ads, it's time for the midcard parade as Murdoch and Cade take on London and Kendrick. Cade immediately starts laying into London with the boots and fists. Quick tag to Murdoch who drops an elbow while keeping London in his corner. That's good tag team wrestling there my friends. Cade continues the assault, but eventually London gets the luke-warm tag to Kendrick...forearms for everybody...flying charge into the corner connects. Eventually Cade settles things down with a clothesline, and tags in Murdoch. Murdoch whips Kendrick to the ropes, going for the knee...reversal, Kendrick with the roll-up. 1...referee out of position, 1,2, 3?!!? Wow, that took forever! Murdoch has once again let his partner down. So how does Murdoch react? He grabs a mic, and stands on the announce table, prompting JR to quip, "That's quite a view." And then, Murdoch sings a full verse and chorus of "Friends in Low Places"?!?!?!? Huh? By the way, his voice isn't bad, and the crowd actually pops for him at the end of the song. As for why he breaks into song? That's unclear. Meanwhile, Cade is befuddled. The actual match was just an excuse for the angle afterward...RATING 1/4 *


PAUL BURCHILL AND HIS SISTER KATIE LEA VS. SUPER CRAZY

More midcard magic ensues. We find out that King Regal has made this match a 2-1 handicap match. Crazy with a quick go-behind where he dumps Katie Lea on her face. Burchill steps in, however, and holds Crazy down on the mat while Katie Lea drops a couple of elbows. She makes the blind charge into the corner, and misses. Crazy to the top rope, he hits the high-cross body. Hurricarana which misses by a mile, but Burchill sells it anyway. Crazy, going up again, looking for the moonsalt, but it's a big whiff. Burchill holds him up as Katie Lea hits the missile dropkick from the top rope. Burchill then hits the curb-stomp. That's a weak look finishing move with an even lamer name. He allows his sister to do the honors...1,2,3. Who knew Katie had some talent?!?! Nothing offensive here...RATING *

CORONATION OF KING REGAL

We come out of the break, and the spotlight is on King Regal in the center of the ring. His message is simple. I'm your ruler, I'm your leader...you will listen to me, you will obey me, and, most importantly, you will respect me! That brings Mr. Kennedy out. Welcome back...where have you been? Kennedy says he's upset that he wasn't invited to the KING OF THE RING tournament. He wants a match with Regal. The winner gets the official title of King and Imperial Grand Poobah. Regal says his interruption is rude and disrespectful and he wants an apology. Kennedy says no apology, and by the way, he is MR. KENNEDY!!!!! KENNEDY!!! Regal pops him and it's on. Catfight ensues until they're seperated by a gaggle of referees...to be continued. That could be a good little feud with some great promos.


SANTINO MARELLA VS. CODY RHODES

Santino is quickly becoming one of my favorite characters. He comes out with Carlito at his side, and cuts a great promo..."I hat-uh New Jersey... and your Sopranos! All the show does is-uh promote Italian stereotypes and-uh fa-keh Italiano accents!" That's just hilarious. Out comes his opponent, the extremely vanilla Cody Rhodes with his second, Hardcore Holly. Good back and forth action until Santino takes control with the Camel Clutch! Holy Iron Shiek! Death to America...phooey! Sorry, I was having a flashback. Cody powers up and dumps Santino on his head. Too bad Backlund didn't think of that 25 years ago. Santino goes for a suplex but it's countered into a convincing enough DDT and that gets the three count. Santino's foiled again. Cody grabs the mic and starts talking trash to Santino. But Carlito sneaks in from behind with the backstabber! Now that was cool! Match was tight, and entertaining...RATING **

HIGHLIGHT REEL WITH CHRIS JERICHO

Jericho has his tux on, and he's looking damn spiffy if I do say so myself. He's here to hand out an oscar for best acting in a sports entertainment segment. He introduces clip number one which features the Magnificant Muraco and Mr. Fuji in an episode of Fuji Hospital. Muraco's making a move on a nurse...Fuji is amused.

Clip number 2...Michael Cole squealing like a pig in a spoof of Deliverance that aired four years ago featuring a wrestler whose name escapes me. This was disturbing.

And clip number 3...Shawn Michaels faking a knee injury right before Superkicking Batista's jaw off at the previous night's PPV. The implication here is that Shawn is not sincere and couldn't win the match fair and square, so he had to fake the knee injury to trick Batista. The envelope please! Your winner is HBK! Come on down and accept your award. HBK hobbles down the aisle to confront Jericho. Jericho says the fake injury is just another example of HBK's disingenuousness and says noone can go from pious preacher to backstabbing bastard like HBK can. All HBK can muster for a response is "I'm hurt Chris, I'm hurt!" Jericho shrugs that off...and leaves Shawn in the ring, looking all pouty and hurt. If this leads to a Jericho v. Michaels feud...count me in.


BACKSTAGE WITH SANTINO

We take a break, and when we come back, Santino thinks he's looking at the butt of a WWE diva. Turns out it's only Rowdy Roddy Piper. Santino says Piper has junk in his trunks then asks him if he can say that line like he did for Sandy Looper...you know...truffle shuffle? Piper says you mean Cyndi Lauper...Santino keeps pestering him until Piper smacks the smile right off his face. Have I mentioned that Santino rocks!


MAIN EVENT: RANDY ORTON V. HHH (Champion)

There's 25 minutes left in the show and this is it, so these two better have some gas left in the tank. We get old-school introductions from Lillian Garcia. A lot of jockeying for position and mat wrestling to start things off. That's a clear sign we're in for a lengthy battle. Eventually, HHH takes control and works the arm of Orton for an extended period. Orton finally turns the tables and unloads his usual assortment of boring offense which includes two extended chinlocks. I mean, you could cook an egg and not miss anything. Finally, HHH reverses to a sleeper but Orton quickly drops HHH on his head. Orton eventually takes over with a thumb to the eye and a nasty inverted backbreaker. Orton going to the top, but he's gets crotched. HHH up and he hits the Superplex! HHH goes for cover...1,2, shoulder up! Some more back and forth...Orton goes for the RKO, reversed into the Crippler Crossface?!?! I'm sure Chris Benoit is rolling over in his grave. It's looks like Orton may tap, but what's this??!? We cut to a shot of William Regal in the production truck?!?! What the heck? He approaches the director who's calling out camera shots. Regal tells the director to take the show off the air. The director says he can't do that, this is live TV! Regal says "Take the bloody show off the air. These people don't deserve to see the finish of this match! They disrespected me." Somebody then yells "Fade to black, fade to black!" We then lose the picture, but hear the audio. JR is screaming..."He's got the cross-face locked in! Will Orton tap?!?! Will he, will he?!?!

And then Law and Order starts. WOW! I've been watching wrestling for 30 years, and I've never seen an ending like that. That takes a lot of guts. I'm sure there's some angry fans out there right now looking for some answers. Rating: ***...Good match until the ending.

SUMMARY

Overall, I thought the show had an awful lot of midcarders, but the developments with Murdoch, Jericho, HBK, and the ending with Regal could lead to some good things. Oh, and did I mention I love Santino? I'll have more thoughts on all that coming up in a couple of days...stay tuned...but for now...Referee Mike Chioda is calling for the bell.